It's the last week of nursery for Paul who starts school next week. I then remembered with nostalgia his entry into nursery 3 years ago. At barely three months old, I entrusted my little one who very rarely left my arms and who was still breastfed! Today he arrives at nursery running or on his bike ;) Today, I want to share my experience, my feedback on 3 years of nursery in order to help you prepare for your baby's entry into nursery.
Registering for a daycare: be very forward-thinking!
Registering for a nursery (or should I say registering on the waiting list for a nursery place) for your (future) child must be done in the first months of pregnancy . Regardless of your personal or professional situation, register and maintain your application. Because you should know that places in municipal or associative nurseries are expensive! Very few places compared to the growing demand, especially in large cities. It is not uncommon for a child to get a place at 12 or 18 months. You must therefore act early and plan an alternative childcare arrangement (childminder, private micro-nursery, grandparent, parental leave, etc.). This is what I personally did: having had no news from the town hall at the end of my pregnancy, we had to take action. So my husband and I met several childminders in our neighborhood and requested a place in a private micro-nursery. We chose the micro-crèche to start with, hoping to be contacted one day by the coveted municipal crèche. It happened! So Paul changed crèches at 15 months.
Have an alternative childcare arrangement
Have you secured that famous nursery place? Still plan for another type of childcare in case of illness, which, it must be said, happens very frequently between 0 and 24 months. In fact, any contagious child will not be accepted into nursery, simply to avoid any risk of spreading the virus to other children. This rule is strict. It is almost impossible to deviate from it. You will then have to take a "sick child" day, entrust your baby to his grandparents or a babysitter you trust. A little info: chickenpox, which lasts a good two weeks, is not a reason for eviction! Few nurseries know this or do not want to communicate the information but the child can return to nursery as soon as the spots are dry because at this stage they are no longer contagious. Provided that the spots do not itch too much of course.
Prepare and reassure your child
As the adjustment period approaches, start talking to him about this new adventure, whatever his age. Explain to him that you are going to / have to go back to work and that he is going to spend a few hours at the nursery and that you will always come back to pick him up. Tell him and tell yourself that even if it can be very difficult at first, it will be beneficial for both of you!
Adaptation to the nursery
An adaptation period to the nursery (and whatever the chosen childcare method) is inevitable and above all essential for a good start in the nursery. This is a period during which the child will get to know his new environment and the people who will take care of him for a good part of the day (and vice versa). The adaptation period lasts between 1 and 2 weeks depending on the nursery. Most often, it is a week of "gradual" presence.
Example of an adaptation week
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Day 1 : you come with your child and stay at the nursery with him for 1 to 2 hours . Very often, this involves an arrival around 9am. You then attend the "Hello" with him. The children gather around a nursery nurse who, with the help of a song, names and introduces all the children and adults who are there! This allows the children to memorize each other's first names. The older ones are then very proud to name their friends. Nursery rhymes follow. You will certainly be led to talk with his/her referent.
In a daycare, several people, sometimes many, are brought in to take care of your child. But he will still have one or two referents: this is a person "designated" to have a privileged relationship (at least the first few times and for as long as it takes) with your child. This person will be a kind of reference for him, but also for you.
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Day 2 : You come for 2 to 3 hours . Still without separation, you will participate in lunch and leave just before nap time. This will be the opportunity for your child to have his first meal at the nursery: you will give him a bottle or a small jar. And if necessary, you will change his diaper in the nursery's changing area .
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Day 3 : This is the day of the first separation . You come and stay with your child for an hour before leaving him alone for an hour at the nursery. He will certainly be with his supervisor, who will give him a snack for example.
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Day 4 : You drop off your child for a few hours . He will participate in part of the day with his new playmates and the childcare assistants. This usually happens between 10am and 3pm: an opportunity for him to have lunch and take a short nap (two structuring moments in his day). Take advantage of this to take some time for yourself!
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Day 5 : Baby's first (short) day at nursery ! You drop him off for the day, but don't exaggerate: it'll be a short day. He'll arrive after the morning rush and leave before everyone else.
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Day 6 : you deposit it for one day during the time slots you have defined for the year.
Organizational side
You will probably have deduced it on your own: you have to do this week of adaptation before returning to work because this schedule is difficult to reconcile with office hours ;) Furthermore, it is wise to share this adaptation period with your partner . All three of you can come or dad can take over on certain days. This is the best way to involve him from the start. Paul having been to two daycare centers in succession, we did two adaptation periods! To tell you how important it is! And fortunately we did it: even if he was used to the community and to his old daycare center where he spent 12 months, the first weeks in the new daycare center were not insignificant for him. Above all, do not neglect the adaptation!
How to manage separation from baby
You may be surprised or destabilized by your child's crying at the time of separation . He, who is usually very smiley and sociable, may start crying hot tears when you leave him at the nursery even for an hour. You have to tell yourself that this is normal and even very common . After all, he finds himself alone in an environment and people he barely knows. It is his way of expressing his little worry. After all, we too have apprehensions when we find ourselves in a new environment that we have to get used to. Except that as adults, we don't cry about it anymore ;) The 3 rules for managing the moment of separation as best as possible: 1/ Explain the situation to him : explain to him what is going to happen (you are going to work, he is going to stay with his friends at the nursery and have a good day... you come back to pick him up once your day is over) 2/ Do not prolong this moment : you say goodbye to him by looking at him well, kissing him and telling him that you are coming back to pick him up 3/ Do not leave without saying goodbye : it is a difficult time for you too and it may be tempting or less painful to leave quietly but it is a very bad idea. For his emotional security, do not do it. It is very stressful for a child to know that one of his parents can leave him without saying goodbye.
Starting on the right foot
Trust
It is essential to establish a relationship of trust with all the nursery staff . Your child is unique and it is certainly a source of worry to entrust him to people you do not yet know well. But tell yourself that they are early childhood professionals, that it is a team that works for the good of each child. So do not hesitate to confide your fears, your doubts to them. The team will be able to hear them and will even offer you solutions! Talk about all your child's habits , his rhythm, what he likes and does not like, what can calm him in case of great sadness. For my part, my fear was that Paul, who was 3 months old at the time, would not be able to take his naps at the nursery because the only position he accepted to sleep was on his stomach! However, this position is strictly forbidden in the nursery (and very widely discouraged by doctors). I of course shared this "peculiarity" and my anxiety with his advisor, and told her that I understood that she couldn't put Paul on his stomach. Knowing all this, she very quickly found THE solution! Paul was not put in the dormitory at nap time like the other children, but in a deckchair and stayed in the common area with the assistants until he fell asleep. They then put Paul in his deckchair, in his bed! An ingenious way of allowing him to fall asleep on his back and still get him used to the dormitory (to the smell of the dormitory more precisely, they told me). This lasted for a while, then Paul accepted the dormitory and to fall asleep on his back ;)
The transmission notebook
Daycare centers, like childminders, keep a handover log . A good part of your child's day is recorded in it in order to give you all the necessary information when you pick him up: what activities he did, whether he ate well or not, how much milk he drank, his nap times, diaper changes, and any information that the assistants deem useful (whether he was grumpy, sad, tired... the games he enjoyed, the progress he made...). Even if time is often lacking, it is important to take the time to handover each evening. In addition, the assistants expect the same handover from the parents in the morning . This way, they will be able to welcome your child as best they can and adapt to him throughout the day. If the child had a bad night or woke up earlier than usual, they may offer him a nap in the morning when this is not his usual practice. So here are my insights and my feedback to prepare for your little one's entry into daycare! To celebrate Paul's departure from daycare as it should be and especially to thank the whole team, we offered each of them a little gift. Below I put a little photo of these gifts made with the help of Paul who filled each jar with sweets (keeping a few for him of course!) and my sister who designed the stickers applied to the jars! A DIY gift idea ;)
