As your child approaches 3 years of age, the question arises: what if this is the right time to say goodbye to the pacifier? This is often the age recommended by specialists, not least to avoid teething problems later on. If you feel the time has come (or if your pediatrician has gently whispered it in your ear), don't panic: we'll help you through this big step... without upsetting the hard-won calm at home.
Don't feel guilty
First, let's get rid of the guilt. Yes, your child has a pacifier, and no, it's not a tragedy! Numerous studies have shown that sucking reduces the risk of cot death. What's more, it triggers the secretion ofendorphins - those famous feel-good hormones - which soothe, comfort and can even help you wait for a meal. The pacifier is therefore a reassuring cue, especially when you're not immediately available.
And that's not all: by helping the child toself-soothe, it can also promote sleep. Some children are able to go back to sleep on their own between cycles.
So, yes, one day you'll have to part with them - to avoid teething problems and speech impediments - but don't worry: all children can manage. And so can every parent. I promise, you'll do it just fine.
When to stop using pacifiers
Early childhood professionals generally recommend starting to limit pacifier use around age 2, and then stopping altogether between ages 3 and 4.
The advantage is that, by the age of 3, your child is better able to understand what's going on. He can actively participate in this stage, which often makes things simpler (and sometimes even a bit more fun). If you manage to stop it earlier, so much the better. But if it takes a little longer, don't worry: every child progresses at his or her own pace, and that's perfectly normal.
How do I stop using a pacifier?
Go gently, without rushing
According to Yvonne Coinçon, child psychiatrist and member of the Association des psychiatres de secteur infanto-juvénile (API), it's not a question of brutally depriving the child of his pacifier, but rather of setting limits. Its use becomes problematic, especially if it is systematic or isolates the child.
Often, it's the parents who want it the most! We give it without being asked, to avoid a crisis or to get through a waiting period (car, doctor, shopping...). So before thinking about taking it away, start by observing your own reflexes: when do you offer it? How insistently does he really ask for it?
The best approach is progressive
Start by reserving the pacifier for sleeping times. If it's an integral part of the bedtime ritual, there's no need to abruptly remove it. On the other hand, as soon as he's asleep, you can gently remove it (and he may already be doing this spontaneously!).
Our favorite: the "Ma Boîte Stop Tétine" kit
To accompany this big step with gentleness (and a little touch of magic), we've fallen for My Pacifier Stop Box designed by La Tribu Happy Kids.
How does it work? Offer children a meaningful ritual to help them detach themselves from their pacifier, at their own pace. Using rhymes, illustrated cards, stickers and even a pretty postcard, children are guided step by step, in simple, reassuring words, towards this symbolic separation. It's a real moment of sharing, to be experienced together as a family.
Fun, friendly and terribly clever, this tool turns a sometimes dreaded milestone... into a beautiful memory. And that changes everything!
Learn to deal with frustration (yours... and hers)
When your child calls for his pacifier, try to gently divert his attention: a little activity, a story, a cuddle, or even a snack (any way you can!). Yes, it'll take a bit of energy - sometimes a lot - but over time, you'll teach your child to get through a difficult emotion without an external crutch. The result: a child who develops his or her own resources... and a parent who can proudly say "I can handle it".
Involve accomplices
Parents, grandparents, siblings, nanny... everyone has to play along. It's by working together that new habits are more easily established. If your child goes to school, be sure to talk to the teacher: some teachers have great ideas, like the famous "give your pacifier to Santa Claus" or the class "pacifier box". And sometimes it works like magic!
No pressure, take your time. Allow your child to go at his or her own pace, with confidence and kindness. One day, without warning, you may find a pacifier forgotten at the bottom of the bed or under a piece of furniture... Dusty, a little sad, but definitely left behind. And then you'll know: mission accomplished.
